3 Rules for Raising Kids that Aren't Jerks

When I first became a mother I think one of my biggest fears was ending up with a kid who was a total butt head. I'd taught daycare, volunteered at VBS and ran enough children's church to know they were out there. And while every child is different and there are easily a thousand different factors that can affect how our children turn out I think there are 3 things we can do to keep them from turning into total punks.

1.) DON'T BE A JERK!
You've got to lead by example. Strive to be who you hope they'll become. Want them to be kind, patient, understanding adults who save kittens and sponsor kids? Then try not to chew out the waitress for mushrooms in your dish. Want them to give their siblings time to talk and be heard? Make sure you give your spouse the same courtesy? For the most part your kids don't give a crap what you say but you can guarantee they see who you are.

2.) EMPHASIZE EMPATHY
Everyone big and small could benefit from a healthy dose of perspective teach them how to put themselves in someone else's shoes. When they misbehave ask questions that make them reflect on how that makes others feel and how they would feel in that situation. Part of the reason I think we act like such jerks as adults is because we forget that everyone is human. Teach them to extend the grace we'd hope to receive. Check out this awesome video from Sesame Street where Bruce Banner...I mean Mark Ruffalo helps explain empathy!

3.) KINDNESS OVER MANNERS

If you've ever watched any good 80s movie you know that you can be the classiest, most polished dude in the room and be a total tool. Teaching politeness without principles gives you fakeness. If you teach a child to be kind then please and thank you will be easy to teach. I don't need them to say yes ma'am to someones face and then be disrespectful behind their back. Raise real, authentic, loving, kind kids. After all manners are really just little random acts of kindness. 

Oh and here's a bonus tip: PRAY!!! A LOT!!! The world is hard and tough. It is not easy to be a person of integrity. Often kindness and grace are viewed as weak. Ask God to give them tender hearts and a strong desire to do what's right. If you have a strong willed one, like I do, pray extra hard. I'll be praying with you! 

A Goal Crushers Guide to New Years Resolutions

"I'm going to do P90X want to do it with me?" my husband says. Is this some sort of joke? I've got a bad knee, a 1 yr old and an infant, I didn't do 15 days of a stationary bike with my gym membership last year and he wants me to do 90 days of this crap?? "I don't think I'll be able to do that with my knee, I'll just watch." I said. He plugs in the DVD and there's a guy with a prosthetic leg doing the workout. o_O Next thing I know its 90 days later I've lost 50lbs and maybe finished a thing for the first time ever in my life. It totally changed me and I've been a fighter and a finisher ever since. Here's what I've learned over the last few years that can help you go from quitter to conqueror too. 

1.) START SMALL

     If you're like I was and have been overweight, lazy, etc for years you won't magically transform overnight. This ain't Disney. Instead of trying to workout an hour at 5am every morning, try getting in at least 30 minutes, 3 days a week to start. Too tough and too much all at once is a great way to crush yourself under the weight of your goals, instead of crush them. Ask yourself what change is a step up from where I am but still sustainable. What could you maintain for the next 10 yrs not just the next 10 days. 

2.) CHILL

     Accept the fact that at some point you will stumble. Your goal needs a hefty serving of grace if its going to make it. Last year I set a goal to get my house in order. I made a simple plan that wouldn't overwhelm me. (You can see my plan HERE) Despite how simple it was there were weeks the schedule got crazy and the house got messy. That doesn't mean the plan doesn't work or that I'm not capable of keeping my house in order. It just means that life happened. Grace upon grace momma, don't smother your goals and your will power with perfection. 

3.) CLARIFY

     As a health and fitness coach my inbox has been filled with declarations like "I'm ready to loose weight!" Well yeah, you and everybody else, but are you willing to make changes and do work. You can't set vague general goals and hope they manifest before your eyes. You need a specific, attainable goal and a plan and path to get it done. Instead of saying "I'm going to loose 30lbs this year!" Say "I'm going to stop drinking soda and start working out 3 times a week." A goal like that is something that you can control and measure. Don't make the big picture your goal, make the goal consistency in the tasks that will get you there. 

Applying these tips to your 2017 and goals will be good for your goals and for your heart. No more defeat, no more quitting, no procrastination....not this year! 

Need a little extra motivation to get the job done? Jan. 9th starts my New Years Revolution where we'll be working together to set and crush goals to live a healthy, fulfilling life and making a little prize money to stay consistent. Want more details on how you could join us? Email me at moxiemaefitness@gmail.com

5 Legit Ways to Lose Weight...and Keep It Off.

If I see one more article on "10 crazy ways to lose weight fast" I'm gonna lose my mind. Ladies stop depriving yourself of vital nutrients, wrapping yourself in cellophane,  and drinking hot sauce. (Seriously some of this stuff is ridiculous.) What good is it to get lean if you don't have a sustainable way to stay lean. Here are 5 legit ways to loose weight and keep it off. 

1.) EDUCATE YOURSELF

The more aware you become of the dangers of a sedentary life or the risks of obesity, it'll be easier to make a decision to change. There are a lot of documentaries on Netflix that will unveil exactly what's on the shelves at your grocery store and how it's killing you. Most people have no idea that your favorite breakfast cereal may share ingredients with heavy duty cleaners. Or that the FDA approves a certain amount of bugs in your food. Not kidding! 

Want to jump all in to food education? THIS. o_O
Warning: May keep you awake at night.

2.) EAT CLEAN, REAL FOOD

I've done Atkins. I've done weight watchers. I've done cereal diets. Nothing has helped me to stay lean AND full of energy like clean eating does. It's a simple concept that involves trying to eat food as close to the source as possible. 5 or fewer ingredients in pre packaged foods and an emphasis on lean meats, lots of produce and whole grains. You're immune system will soar, your energy will improve and your waistline will shrink. All without any crazy deprivation. 

I run a FREE Moxie Mom Challenge each month that can help you better understand who to start this sustainable lifestyle. Email me at moxiemaefitness@gmail.com if you want in the next one! 

3.) FIND A COMMUNITY

I run monthly virtual bootcamps because the thing that is missing for a lot of first timers is accountability and support. Something amazing happens when you know someone is waiting for you to show up and is cheering you on to succeed. We were designed by God for connection! A certain amount of obligation is healthy, otherwise we would never do anything. A community will help you push when you just want to binge on cereal and Netflix...not that I know about that or anything. 

4.) MOVE CONSISTENTLY

1 Zumba class a month does not a slender physique make. Make sure you are finding a way to move 3-5 days a week. It not only is good for your jean size but it could be the difference between a long life and a heart attack. For maximum results mix up cardio and resistance training. Weight training burns calories for up to a couple days. Muscle takes more for your body to maintain, so step off that treadmill drop and give me 20. 

5.) COMMIT TO A PLAN

Your goals need to be specific, measurable, and attainable. "I'm gonna start working out." Isn't going to work out. How many days a week will you exercise? What exercises will they be? What do you need to be eating for results?What's on your meal plan for the week? If it's not scheduled and planned it'll be the first thing to go. Overwhelmed and don't know where to start, it's okay I can help! 

And here's a bonus have some flippin' fun! Don't love running, than dance. Hate to lift, get your yoga on! As the old adage says do what you love and it won't seem like work!

I hate meal planning. There I said it.

Cleaning eating, fit mom, health coach surely I meal plan and do so like a boss. Surely not. The thought of locking myself into food choices for the week?? I was having commitment issues. But I knew I had to figure something out, the grocery situation was getting freaking ridiculous. The bill was climbing, I was there 3-4 times a week, my meal planning anxiety was totally cramping my style. I knew I couldn't plan every meal and snack for the week, not I couldn't, I just wouldn't. So here's how me and meal planning made a compromise.

Before April started I planned only dinner for a week. Then I made a list of breakfast, lunch and snack options. That week and those options will repeat itself for the month. We have the same thing every night of the week for the entire month. So for April, Mondays are tacos, Tuesday is spaghetti, Wednesday is breakfast, Thursday is chicken, rice and veggies, Friday is turkey burgers, Saturday is leftovers, Sunday is crockpot pork tenderloin. (Remember those are all clean, whole foods versions of those things!) I break down those meals into the ingredients required and hit up the big box store and stock up on everything I need for 2 weeks worth of meals. (Save the receipt!) On Sunday I cook chicken for lunch salads, prebag snacks for easy grabbing, make meatballs, bake oatmeal cups, etc. If it can be done ahead of time, it's done now. Every night before bed I prep the hubby's work food and take meat from the freezer to thaw for the next day. You can get a better idea of how I prep for the other meals HERE.

Dude! The baby slept through my haircut, and both stores!!! God is good...all the time!

Let's fast forward. 2 weeks have gone by and supplies are low. If your store has shop online, pick up in store like our Sam's Club you're about to change your life. Because you saved the receipt you know exactly what you need whether you shop online or in the store you should be done in no time. Today with baby in tow I was in and out of the big box store in 20 minutes. You're not shopping this time, you did that at the start of the month this time you're grabbing and going. I had to make a second stop to Wal-Mart to get party supplies for my son's birthday this weekend and was still done the whole combined trip in an hour and for less than $300. That's right party supplies and 2 weeks worth of food for $300. And not just any food but lots of fresh, organic, real food!!

Before May we'll sit down as a family and decide what meals we loved, what new recipes we want to try and make our new dinner plans for the month.

Go connect with me on FB and leave your email 

and I'll send you my FREE printable to help you 

go all moxie on your meal prep!

Or email me at moxiemaefitness@gmail.com to snag one! 

3 Day Refresh, Is It Worth It?

That's it we had decided and committed March 21st my friend Mindy and I would take on the 3 Day Refresh. A 3 Day Cleanse that is designed to help your body make a clean break from bad habits which I totally needed coming off a 6 day cruise. Mindy did the smart thing, while I was on the boat drinking coffee 6 times a day and having dessert every night, she was weaning herself off of processed foods and sugar. Oh how I wish I had done what Mindy did, but I did not and I suffered gravely for it. Here's how my 3 days went down.

DAY 1
Off to a great start I was worried about having my Shakeology without almond milk but with half a frozen banana in it, it was just fine! I wasn't even really feeling much from going without my normal morning coffee. Lunch was a vanilla protein shake half an apple and cucumbers with hummus. Thanks to the fact that you can have real food during this detox at no point was I starving. Around dinner I felt a headache coming on. By the kids bedtime I was in full blown break down mode I had chills, my body ached, and my head throbbed. Upon a little research I discovered that when you detox if you have a flu virus or some such mess in your system that your immune system has been staving off it will bubble right up to the top as your body gets rid of toxins. So now I am dealing with major caffeine withdrawal and the flu...awesome.

DAY 2
I woke up feeling like garbage, all of the symptoms that come with the flu were reigning down upon me. I sat and thought for a while, am I going to bail or am I going to stick with it? Even if I went back to my normal clean eating lifestyle it wouldn't get rid of the germs any faster than the cleanse would so it was time to embrace the suck. If repenting from sin felt like detoxing from sugar and caffiene it'd be the straight and narrow for all of us from here on out. Sheesh! Thank goodness you can have hot herbal tea because the chills had me wanting soup or coffee real bad. That day for lunch I had grape tomatoes with avocado, seasoned with a pinch of Himalayan salt, cracked black pepper and garlic powder. This is a cold salad I make in the summer with mozzarella and it is amazing! Went to bed feeling a little bit better, thank goodness the clouds were parting.

3/4 cup of halved grape tomatoes, 1/4 of an avocado diced, sprinkle himalayan salt, cracked black pepper and a pinch of garlic powder

DAY 3
Oh my gosh, am I dying?? If you have the option to do a detox when you are not sick, take that option!! Had my Shakeology at breakfast with frozen blueberries for a vitamin C boost and that delicious avocado and tomato salad for lunch. After lunch my parents watched the kids while I took my first ever detox bath. I went in feeling like death but I must have dipped myself in that healing water 7x cause I came out feeling brand new. lol I still had a little bit of a headache but the chills and body ache were gone! Praise the Lord. Dinner was a recipe for lemony green beans that comes in the booklet and they are delicious! I still wasn't hungry but man I sure was missin normal food. I told my husband after dinner "Can I go to bed now so I can wake up and eat?" hahaha

For a simple detox bath add 1 cup epsom salt and 2 cups baking soda as you draw a hot bath. Soak for at least 30 mins.

DAY 4
WOW!!!! Just call me Lazarus y'all! I was worried that being sick would mess with the results in my energy. All the clients I have that had finished the cleanse boasted of increased energy the next day. Even with the baby waking up at 2:30 (not normal for him) I woke up feeling awesome. And as a bonus I was looking awesome...well my hair was a hot mess but all of my nasty boat bloat I had acquired on the cruise was gone! I lost 4lbs (157.5 to 153.5) and 3 inches off my waist!

GET REAL ALERT

A detox will not give you abs. All it did was reveal all the hard work I've been doing in my workouts 

by trimming the bloat and some fluff. 

If you are thinking about doing the detox I would HIGHLY recommend working your way up to it! It shouldn't take long Mindy started the Wednesday before eating better and did well with it, I had a Cadbury cream egg and a cup of coffee the night before and knocked on deaths door. Obviously if you aren't fighting off the flu you'll also handle it much better.

If you are interested in more information or want to take advantage of this system while its on sale email me at moxiemaefitness@gmail.com or check out the 3 Day Refresh at my virtual store front.

How You're Ruining Your Day, Maybe Your Life

3:45pm it is the hour of my salvation. Its the time my husband walks through the door and I claw against the mat towards the ropes to tag him in. "How was your day?" Here it is my opportunity to let him know just how real the struggle is and banish any ideas that I might be sitting around here eating bon bons...I don't even really know what those are, but they sound good!... As I relive the spills, fights, and missteps I feel even worse about my day.

Today as we stood in line at SAMs Club I was trying not to lose it. They were snappin out and there were 2 out of 20 lines open. They had just done so well at the hair dressers what was going on!!! What about a grocery cart makes every body loose their mind. As I plopped down in the drivers seat after we loaded our industrial size bags of produce I heard the Lord say to me "so what part are you going to let define your day?" I was like the mainstream media (and I am not a fan). Every day Matt comes home from work and I relive the horrors and neglect the highlight reel. With every negative story I retold I was making myself feel worse about the job I had to do. Not to mention they deserved more grace. What would I say about a boss who only ever pointed out my mistakes and never my achievements? I'll tell you it probably would require some editing.

The negative is going to scream in your face momma, you've got to choose to shout the joy louder. Don't ruin your own day! You don't have to pretend like you've had flowers coming out your butt all day, but before you is life and death...chose life!

The Thing About Homeschooling

Here's the thing about homeschooling...sometimes it sucks. Yeah that's right I said it. For all of the homeschool magazines and how-to books no one ever seems to cover the fact that some days the washer will over flow in the middle of math. That some days your...passionately, independent child will shout out random words as he stares off into space instead of willingly reading the words you know that he knows. At mommy school you are the janitor, head master, teacher, plumber, coach and oh yeah, Mom! It's a lot. Like just being a mom is hard enough. It's amazing and fulfilling and important, but its hard. If you don't think it is you're either better than me or taking something and not sharing.

This is our new Bible practice. Be still and know,
lying and listening to scripture quietly.

And here's the other thing, its not for everyone. Some of these homeschool moms get it mixed up like this is our only mission ever in life. Well I'm sorry I just don't agree. I believe we are called for more than just motherhood. The Bible says we are to go into all the world and preach the gospel, that starts at home but it does not end there. If being who you're called to be means they have to be at school that's okay. You may not be able to be a good mom and a homeschool Mom at the same time. If you are called to homeschooling and it is hard, than you have a responsibility to take time to fill your cup. This is not purgatory you are not stuck here. Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom (2 Cor. 3:17) and don't you let any uptight, Abeka lovin mom tell you any different. (If you love Abeka don't get your three ring binder in a knot its just an example.)


These are your responsibilities momma.
1.) Get with God and go where He sends you.
2.) Be a part of your child's education whether it be at home or away.

Notice the laundry in the background...the janitors off today.

You cannot be the best for them, if you are not willing to hear His best for you. For me, right now, I am called to be here. But I like to ask Him every few months whether I'm still supposed to be here. So if you're here with me in the trenches, keep up the good work and cultivate thinkers! If you're hearing this and realize you need to hand them over to Him and send them to school, God speed and I am praying for your momma heart! You will find no condemnation here!

Julia Todd, Moxie Mom