3 Rules for Raising Kids that Aren't Jerks

When I first became a mother I think one of my biggest fears was ending up with a kid who was a total butt head. I'd taught daycare, volunteered at VBS and ran enough children's church to know they were out there. And while every child is different and there are easily a thousand different factors that can affect how our children turn out I think there are 3 things we can do to keep them from turning into total punks.

1.) DON'T BE A JERK!
You've got to lead by example. Strive to be who you hope they'll become. Want them to be kind, patient, understanding adults who save kittens and sponsor kids? Then try not to chew out the waitress for mushrooms in your dish. Want them to give their siblings time to talk and be heard? Make sure you give your spouse the same courtesy? For the most part your kids don't give a crap what you say but you can guarantee they see who you are.

2.) EMPHASIZE EMPATHY
Everyone big and small could benefit from a healthy dose of perspective teach them how to put themselves in someone else's shoes. When they misbehave ask questions that make them reflect on how that makes others feel and how they would feel in that situation. Part of the reason I think we act like such jerks as adults is because we forget that everyone is human. Teach them to extend the grace we'd hope to receive. Check out this awesome video from Sesame Street where Bruce Banner...I mean Mark Ruffalo helps explain empathy!

3.) KINDNESS OVER MANNERS

If you've ever watched any good 80s movie you know that you can be the classiest, most polished dude in the room and be a total tool. Teaching politeness without principles gives you fakeness. If you teach a child to be kind then please and thank you will be easy to teach. I don't need them to say yes ma'am to someones face and then be disrespectful behind their back. Raise real, authentic, loving, kind kids. After all manners are really just little random acts of kindness. 

Oh and here's a bonus tip: PRAY!!! A LOT!!! The world is hard and tough. It is not easy to be a person of integrity. Often kindness and grace are viewed as weak. Ask God to give them tender hearts and a strong desire to do what's right. If you have a strong willed one, like I do, pray extra hard. I'll be praying with you! 

A Goal Crushers Guide to New Years Resolutions

"I'm going to do P90X want to do it with me?" my husband says. Is this some sort of joke? I've got a bad knee, a 1 yr old and an infant, I didn't do 15 days of a stationary bike with my gym membership last year and he wants me to do 90 days of this crap?? "I don't think I'll be able to do that with my knee, I'll just watch." I said. He plugs in the DVD and there's a guy with a prosthetic leg doing the workout. o_O Next thing I know its 90 days later I've lost 50lbs and maybe finished a thing for the first time ever in my life. It totally changed me and I've been a fighter and a finisher ever since. Here's what I've learned over the last few years that can help you go from quitter to conqueror too. 

1.) START SMALL

     If you're like I was and have been overweight, lazy, etc for years you won't magically transform overnight. This ain't Disney. Instead of trying to workout an hour at 5am every morning, try getting in at least 30 minutes, 3 days a week to start. Too tough and too much all at once is a great way to crush yourself under the weight of your goals, instead of crush them. Ask yourself what change is a step up from where I am but still sustainable. What could you maintain for the next 10 yrs not just the next 10 days. 

2.) CHILL

     Accept the fact that at some point you will stumble. Your goal needs a hefty serving of grace if its going to make it. Last year I set a goal to get my house in order. I made a simple plan that wouldn't overwhelm me. (You can see my plan HERE) Despite how simple it was there were weeks the schedule got crazy and the house got messy. That doesn't mean the plan doesn't work or that I'm not capable of keeping my house in order. It just means that life happened. Grace upon grace momma, don't smother your goals and your will power with perfection. 

3.) CLARIFY

     As a health and fitness coach my inbox has been filled with declarations like "I'm ready to loose weight!" Well yeah, you and everybody else, but are you willing to make changes and do work. You can't set vague general goals and hope they manifest before your eyes. You need a specific, attainable goal and a plan and path to get it done. Instead of saying "I'm going to loose 30lbs this year!" Say "I'm going to stop drinking soda and start working out 3 times a week." A goal like that is something that you can control and measure. Don't make the big picture your goal, make the goal consistency in the tasks that will get you there. 

Applying these tips to your 2017 and goals will be good for your goals and for your heart. No more defeat, no more quitting, no procrastination....not this year! 

Need a little extra motivation to get the job done? Jan. 9th starts my New Years Revolution where we'll be working together to set and crush goals to live a healthy, fulfilling life and making a little prize money to stay consistent. Want more details on how you could join us? Email me at moxiemaefitness@gmail.com