Why Marrying "The One" Is A Recipe For Divorce

I am not a romantic, at least not in the traditional sense. I do not watch Hallmark movies, I've never read a Nicholas Sparks book, these are not things I enjoy. This is mostly because I think that the world gets romance really wrong...like really wrong. There is something way not cool about rooting for a woman to leave her husband to be with the one that fulfills her emotionally. The idea that in all the world there is only one individual you are meant to be with is dangerous. It is dangerous because it implies the possibility of getting it wrong and having a way out of our marriages. 

I cannot tell you how many times I have had a young lady ask me "How did you know your husband was the one?" Those poor girls. Those poor, unsuspecting girls. I do not imagine when they asked me that they were prepared for the sermon to follow. I like to tell people do not ask me what I think unless you are prepared to hear what I think. Do you know how I knew my husband was "The One"? Because he is the one I choose...thats it. I know you feel the butterflies don't you. A friend said recently that the reason marriage is so beautiful is because its your choice. There is no alignment of the planets and cosmic soul connection that draws us to one another. If you feel something like that chances are its mostly lust. 

Saying that their is a one, gives the impression that each day all the pieces will magically fall into place and you will have a peaceful and successful marriage. When in reality, (and if you have been married for any length of time you know this to be true) somedays it is nothing but the grace of God and the fact that you would not look good in prison orange that keeps you from smothering him with his pillow. 

It is work, it is a daily choice of servanthood, forgiveness and selflessness that makes a marriage successful. To go into a marriage expecting that this person was designed to complete you and fulfill you is unfair to them. That is far too much pressure and responsibility to put on someone you love. Jesus is the only one that can do that for you. Marriage is a daily dying to self, it is a forsaking of "I" for the good of "we".

Married ladies, marriage is the most accurate depiction of Christ's love for us. Marriage is under attack for this very reason. The devil would love nothing more then to see your marriage fall. Battle for it, love in spite of your feelings. Treat them as you want to be treated after all you are one. 

Single ladies, do not fall for the good guys, but diligently seek out a God guy. You will not die from singleness. Date with intention, never go into relationships lightly. Far too many ladies have had deep wounds created by poor choices that were made for "just one little date." Stop searching out "the one" and start being a woman worth sacrificing for.

Greater love has no one than this, that someone would lay down their life for his friends. John 15:13

I believe that word "life" there does not only refer to our mortal lives, but our life. Our comfort zone, our personal agendas, our plans. Sacrifice is the only real romance.