The Thick One

I grew up in a blended family. I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers. As I grew up my time would be split between two different houses, but wherever I found myself I was always the chunky one. All of my sisters are naturally slender, my biological sister is flat out skinny. I can remember going back to school shopping and hating every minute of it, as I tried on outfit after outfit in the juniors section with no luck. Not only was I thicker than them but I was taller than almost all the girls I knew. Looking in the mirror I looked like some bad SNL joke with buttons stretched tight and hemlines mid-shin. Girls were supposed to love shopping, why did I find this so miserable an experience? I had let my shirt's XL label, define me. I felt like a pair of elastic waisted, stirrup pants remember those in a room full of skinny jeans.

If this is you sweet friend, hear me now. Who you are is enough! If we are created in the image of Christ that means somewhere at our core we have everything we need to be the best that we can be! You were hand crafted, designed, fashioned before there were stars in the sky. If someone had used an unattractive, bulky frame to showcase their Picasso, would it make the art worth any less? Absolutely not! You are valuable, you are beautiful, you are worth the effort.

Even after a 50lb weight loss (thank you P90X) sometimes I forget I'm not a "big girl" anymore...although at 5'10" I'll never really be small. What I do remember is that whether big or small, husky or scrawny I am awesome! And because I am awesome and God took the time to create me with such precision I am worth the effort to stay healthy. My body is a temple and so I will choose to treat it with respect, both in how I handle it and how I speak about it. I will choose to run the race of life with endurance! (Heb. 12:1)

That's me...true story! 

If you're stuck letting your clothes tag, label your heart I want to help you. No more miserable in your own skin. No more negative talk about your vessel. It's time to change your perspective and your body. You can do it, because greater is He that is in you. You are worth it, because you were wonderfully and beautifully made. Comment below to get info on how to join this group, or message me over on Facebook www.facebook.com/moxiemaefitness 

It's time to sow hard work and consistency

and reap confidence and positivity. 

Why turning 29 will be harder than turning 30.

Tomorrow I turn 29. I don't usually make too much of a fuss over my own birthdays. They don't bum me out and neither do they make me excited, its just whatever. Until this morning. I woke up this morning to find out some friends of ours had gotten some great news. I was so excited for them, but it quickly turned into being bummed out for me.  Tomorrow I turn 29...and all of these things I thought I would have accomplished are still just dreams.

I have no bum steer to blame for where I find myself. Its because I am a dreamer and have yet to become a doer. I thought by now I would have opened my own coffee shop and would be, at least, a moderately successful business owner. At this point I would settle for struggling business owner just to see the thing come to life. I thought we would be in the adoption process by now, but with each bleak bank balance I feel like we are further and further away. Its not that I lack vision, its action that eludes me.

I am afraid that this coffee shop that I can see and smell when I close my eyes will be a bust. That this thing I have made so much a part of me will be a flop. So out of fear I don't take any leaps. I have had multiple opportunities slip through my fingers as I am almost paralyzed by the fear of failure.

I can see an adorable little Ugandan or Haitian girl(s) as a part of our freak show. I believe it is what I was born to do, like I believe I need air to breathe. So why don't I already have a savings account set up to plan ahead for paying for the high cost?...lack of action.

As I scan over the landscape of 28 it smells stagnant. Turning 29 is hard because I feel as if I have wasted the 365 days leading up to it. I had a beautiful baby boy and I know I did lots of things so I know its not for nothing, but I didn't really make it something either. 30 will be different. 29 will be the year I rise out of the ashes of inactivity and make it count. My plan is to live enough and work enough and share enough and care enough to make up for 28 and every other year that came before it. 30 will not be this hard!

You see then that a man is justified by works,and not by faith only. James 2:24