Foolish Hope

I carry a genetic mutation that causes polydactyly and syndactyly. "Poly...what now?" Don't worry I didn't expect you to know. It basically means extra digits and webbed digits. It can be treated early on with a couple surgeries and doesn't have a whole lot of affect on how I live my day to day life. My feet are extra sensitive as bones don't align as they should and 2 of my toes are visibly webbed. So no I don't get pumped for flip flop season. All 3 of my sons were also born with it. While it is a blessing compared to some of the things we see at the children's hospital. Taking a 1 year old for 5 hours of intricate surgery and 30 days of recovering in casts is no picnic. The 10th little kid or shoot even adult to ask why your babies toes are stuck together also lacks in appeal. We won't even get into the medical costs for all the specialist.

When I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd and it was also a boy (its more common in males) we started doing everything we had learned to do to win the battle in the spirit. We went to the elders of the church and were anointed. There is no "fervent prayer of a righteous man" quite like the prayers of a mother. I claimed healing and testified to its immanent arrival. We spoke scripture over our unborn son. We prayed in the spirit. Two or more had come in His name. My hope had been built to such a mighty climax, that the day before my scheduled induction I sat in the car and cried thinking of the miracle we were about to witness.

The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever; 

Do not forsake the works of Your hands. Psalm 138:8

Then it happened, 13 hours of labor had passed and we were going to see a miracle, except we didn't. Extra pinkys, extra big toes, webbed middle and ring finger on his right hand, and webbed toes. I felt my heart break in that moment. We did EVERYTHING we were supposed to do. If I were a different woman I probably would have cried right then and there, but I soldiered on like it was no big deal. But it was. When the pediatrician came in and said "webbed fingers and webbed toes, I guess you're the one that gave that to them?" it was a big deal. When I had to call the children's hospital and they knew my name and it was like talking to old friends it was a big deal. For a couple weeks I walked around like a zombie. I didn't want to go to church and answer questions. I didn't want strangers bringing meals and trying to not to look at his hands. I didn't cry until about 3 weeks or so later as I stood over a sink full of dishes and I lost it. And He said to me "My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are My ways, your ways." And quite frankly that wasn't really good enough. 

Fast forward a few months after his surgery. While sitting and praying I heard Him say "the things you battled for have been won. There are things unseen that have been shifted." I thought well if all that was so that my future grandbabies could be set free, it was worth it. I shared with ladies from church the word that was spoken to me and took comfort in that. Almost 2 months after that I got a positive pregnancy test. I can remember talking to my best friend, who knows this battle better than most, and saying "I don't know that I feel like praying for a miracle. I don't know that I am brave enough to hope and have it crushed again." She informed me that not doing so was not an option. (side note: those are the best kinds of friends) Again I am pregnant with a boy. I am now 3 weeks away from my due date. People talk as though we are sure to see it again. Their is no doubt in the OB's mind we will be doing all of that again. This time my prayer is different. "God let me be okay with the outcome." "Don't let my faith waiver if my prayers are not answered." "Guard my heart Lord." Hope would seem silly to most, sometimes it seems silly to me. But I have no other choice, I can't hope for all the others and not for him. I can't let myself believe less than His promises. At the 20 week appointment, without knowing a thing, the ultrasound tech got a super clear picture of both his feet, and said "Look at his cute little toes." Because both are soft tissue issues, they won't show on regular ultrasound, but I felt like he said "It's okay Mom." 

I don't know if he will be born unable to wear shoes until he's 1. I don't know if he'll grow up to be a master swimmer. (we hear that a lot) I don't know if prayers will be answered or not. I do know that He loves me, I know that He has a hope and future for my little man. I know that whatever the deal He is still God and seated on the throne. No matter how many times you've prayed for breakthrough, however many times you have cried in the dark for healing and heard nothing, my prayer is that you would be brave enough to hope. That your faith would look foolish to those who don't know Him. Hang in there, you are shifting the atmosphere. 

Raising Grace

"Stop catching the marshmallows on fire! I swear every F****n time!" This is what I heard from the next campsite as I watched our campfire burn with less passion then this man had for marshmallow roasting procedure. Usually the loud, public use of the F-Bomb would make me roll my eyes but tonight it brought rage as I realized he was talking to tween daughter.

As I sit and think about how I would like to rip into this guy. The Lord reminds me of something He has been speaking to me. "What if the grace I give my children is all the grace I received from my Heavenly Father." You see the crazy thing is without discipleship and the work of the Holy Spirit I could totally be that guy. I mean on a day where my guard is down and my dander is up it may be not but my education that keeps me from rifling through my list of profanities over small things.

I run a fairly tight ship. Respect and hard work are not options here and I'm not apologizing for that. I think the Bible is clear that order, character and effort are necessities to a fruitful life. What I do regret is anytime I've made accuracy of more value than mercy. Does who I am as a mother say to my children come to me, all of you that are heavy laden and find rest, or do I conjure images of lighting bolts? Because if they enter this world and they have learned to work hard but not love fiercely, I have failed.

P.S. I totally yelled while writing this. Grace for us too mommas!

But Why?

I get asked a lot why I would still choose to work out every day and aim for clean eating while I'm pregnant. Several friends have said to me "as soon as I'm pregnant again I'm eating whatever I want". I mean we've certainly earned the right havevn't we? For 9 months we grow, swell and ache...and those pregnancy cravings! There's nothing like a 3rd trimester craving for a bacon cheeseburger to make you realize how little it would take for you to cut someone. So why would I deprive myself the opportunity?

The reason why is the same reason I've chosen this non-traditional career path and the same reason I train outside of pregnancy. I push and train because I believe it is important to God that we are stewards of our bodies. Think about it we could have been designed anyway imaginable and it was God's choice that we be an intricate system fueled by food and strengthened by work. Ps. Rick Warren said "God created it. Jesus died for it. The Spirit lives in it. I'd better take care of it." I do the things that are not easy and require discipline because every time we tell our flesh to sit down and shut its mouth we turn up the volume on the Spirit.

Take your eyes off the bathing suit, off the shorts and focus on the heart of this issue. Gluttony and sloth have become excusable sins in the church. We tell our self its not worth the effort because its vanity, and it certainly could be, but the real reason is we think its about image when really its about honor. God doesn't bless dishonor. Imagine with me that you are adrift at sea. As you cry out to God for help you slowly punch poke holes in your raft. After a while the raft deflates and you drown at sea. Was it God's fault you sank? Now imagine with me you cry out to God for more energy, more confidence, to keep you from the heart disease that plagues your family history, as you pop another can of diet soda. God has not abandoned you to this place, we keep popping holes in our raft. You were made for more. You are capable of more.

This is why I do it and its the very reason I spend every day helping other women push too! Because, you friend, are a masterpiece designed with the very DNA of Christ. I do it because I want you to see what we were made to do! We aren't supposed to be pumping our bodies full of toxins, we were not created to manage our life with pills. You are the dwelling place of the most high God and you are worth the effort! If you know for you this battle has to be won in your heart subscribe to email list and I will send you my list of "Scriptures to Sweat By" so that you can begin to pray the word over your journey to health and wellness!

Pray, Sweat, Eat, Repeat. You've got this!

Women, Weight Lifting, and Why You Should Trade in Your Treadmill

Squats, deadlifts, bicep curls... Am I conjuring up visions of women whose veins pop out further than their chest? Maybe you're envisioning large Anglo Saxon blondes teetering on the edge of roid rage. Let me put your mind at ease from the start those women you envision don't hit the squat rack and magically explode into muscle. That takes extreme dedication, a TON of food, and in some of those ladies cases illegal substances. What if I told you that not only would weight lifting unlock something inside your soul but it could be the key to overcoming your weight loss hurdles and getting the body you've always wanted. Don't believe me? Here are 5 reasons you should trade in the treadmill.

1.) Unleash Your Inner Beastette
Is it not the dream of every woman to walk into a room and feel confident? Being a beast isn't about PR's or getting swole, its about pushing yourself. It's about educating yourself, creating new habits and a better version of you. When you take your "I can't" and turn it into an "I must" something happens inside you. Once you see yourself dedicated, disciplined and pushing through it won't matter if you're in a t-shirt and jeans or in your best cocktail dress you're gonna feel like a million bucks.

2.) Become a Calorie Burning Machine
You spend 30 mins on the treadmill and run a 10min mile, you burn 324 calories or so. 30 mins of weight training only gets you a burn of 97. So far it sounds like cardio for the win right? Now what if I told you once you are done your strength training regiment your body continues to burn calories for up to 72 hrs!!! Cardio you continue to burn for only 3-6 hrs. I don't know about you but I like a good deal. I'll take more bang for my buck every time, thank you!

3.) Eat all the food!
I can not tell you how often I hear "I would work out but I just love food too much." Really? Well great pick up a dumbbell and lets get to work. Because you are now a calorie burning machine you'll require more intake. An average daily calorie count for weight loss on a cardio heavy regiment is about 1400-1600 calories. Take the same person and switch the routine for a strength training routine and you're talking more like 1800-2200 calories a day! Divide those up into 5-6 clean eating meals a day and the weight is going to melt a way. So while all your girlfriends are enjoying their carrot sticks you'll be downing clean eating sweet potato fries and getting lean and mean!

4.) Don't just burn fat, but change your body!
Instead of just loosing a little on the scale what if you could reshape your body and be getting rid of that tricep wave wobble. Thought those wide hips are just in the genes and there's nothing you can do? Think again! Not only can weight training slim you down, but it can create new curves and chisel those problems areas. Can we say hello squat booty!! Beachbody Blog says not to worry about bulking up "women don’t have enough muscle-building hormones to gain a lot of mass like men do." 

5.) Better Body From the Inside Out

Weight bearing activities help you to build and maintain bone mass and prevent osteoporosis. Strong muscles help to support your joints and help keep you from injury and can even improve chronic knee and back pain. When I started P90X 5 years ago my knees were terrible, they constantly ached and back pain was like the guest that over stays its welcome. Now after completing multiple strength training programs I can jump I can squat all with no problem and I no longer wake up with back pain so bad I'm unable to move. A study conducted at the University of Wales in Bangor, United Kingdom, found that mildly disabled participants who lifted weights for 12 weeks increased the frequency and intensity at which they could work, with less pain and increased range of movement. 

So now you know what it can do for you but maybe you're still wondering how to start. There are tons of great blogs about simple weight lifting moves and proper form. I would love to help you like I have helped other women learn to love lifting and change their lives. I can provide you with all the nutritional information, a flexible at home fitness program (you don't even have to find a babysitter!!!), and support you need to crush your goals, just email me at moxiemaefitness@gmail.com. All that is needed to succeed is a committed decision! 

WHAT!!! Dude, I did that!! 

5 Fresh Mother's Day Ideas for the Foodie Mom

I have read "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman and I have to tell you that I think there is one missing. I am convinced that the 6th Love Language is food. If you bring me food I just assume you love me. When we go on vacation our trip is primarily planned around the places we would like to eat. I see these Pinterest posts on date night ideas other than dinner and I think to myself "Why on earth would you not want food?" I am sure that this connection between love and food explains why I was the only "thick" sister. So if this sounds like the momma in your life here are 5 fresh ideas for a foodie Mother's Day and best of all they can all be done last minute.

1.) GIFT CARD
I feel like that goes without saying. The trick here is to get creative, an Applebee's gift card is not going to cut it friends. Think of her favorite restaurant, look for a local farm or garden that makes their own cheeses or spice blends. This idea works for every budget and can be picked up quick.

2.) BLUE APRON
This is a great idea for the busy foodie Mom. What Mom wouldn't love 3 meals worth of ingredients and recipes delivered right to their door. We were gifted a weekly box from Blue Apron a few years back and I have to say it was really cool! All of the ingredients pre-measured come in a ice packed cooler right at your door. Our box had an amazing kale and chicken caesar salad which started us on a kick of kale in our salads.

3.) GRAZE

If you've got a crunchy foodie Mom these boxes come pre-filled with 8 healthy snacks for them to munch on. There are 100s of snacks to choose from so you can pick out her favorites. Not sure what she would like you can get a Graze voucher and let her choose for herself. 

4.) CSA SUBSCRIPTION

Nothing says love like a box of local, fresh produce every week. If you are unfamiliar, CSA stands for community supported agriculture. You buy a share of produce from your local family farm and each week they give you a portion of what is fresh, ripe and fabulous. Our local CSA, Fifer Orchards, even gives you the option to add grass feed beef, fresh local eggs and more to your box. This is a pricier option so it'd be good to split amongst some adult siblings! 

5.) COOKING CLASSES

Is your Mom a great baker but not so great with the knife skills or maybe she's a sushi fiend. Sushi making classes, or cooking lessons are a great way for her to do what she loves and to also get out of the house for a bit. If you are in the Salisbury, MD area I suggest calling my friend over at the Country Tart and booking your Mom an in home dinner party/cooking class. Lynn comes to your house with the food and the know how and shows you and 8-10 of your friends how to prepare a meal. 

So this year save your money on flowers she can't eat, and candles she doesn't need. Get her what she really wants...FOOD!