When 4 is the Loneliest Number

Captain's Log Day 76
It has been 6 hours since the First Mate left to find food. The native's are becoming restless. The smallest speaks a language I can not seem to decode and as a result he often flies into fits of fury. I know he is trying to tell me something, but what. They don't seem to understand me either, perhaps they suffer from hearing loss...or maybe they do hear me and it's all an elaborate game. The biggest seems to be the ring leader, I think they are planning on stealing my marbles. It is a strange place to be, alone in a village of many. Despite the fact that it has been many days since I have even been able to use the bathroom alone, I cannot help but to feel isolated.

Okay so that was just for fun, but don't tell me you haven't been there yourselves. Yesterday the lovely ladies at Preschoolers and Peace  asked if, as a homeschool Mom, we ever feel alone or isolated and why? As a stay at home Mom its so easy to listen to the voice of the enemy, after all most of the time there isn't anyone else around to say anything different. We confuse isolation for being ignored. But don't twist it loneliness is a choice.

There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Alone is a state of being, loneliness is a state of mind. And even then, as Christians, we are never really alone. Deuteronomy 31:6 tells us that He (God) will never leave us or forsake us. Just as we have to fight for our spiritual freedom, so as to not slip back into the bonds of sin, sometimes we have to fight for our flipping sanity!

We have only one car and my husband works a lot of over time lately. I have to make a practical plan to connect with other adult life forms. I meet with women 2 times a week, once to get poured into and once to pour out. When I am with the fabulous lady leaders in my life I make it a point to submit to them and be as transparent as possible. This allows them to keep me accountable and encouraged and for my life to have set of checks and balances. Unless you live like Eustice Conway (I really enjoy Mountain Men on the History Channel.) and have no access to the outside world but then how are you reading this blog... there is always a way to connect. My close friends where I live do not homeschool or stay at home, so I make it a point to keep in touch and text my homeschool Mom friends that live out of town.

Some of the awesome women that pour into my life! 

Remember you are not alone, even when it feels its loneliest! Make a plan to connect with other women on 2 separate occasions this week. Your sanity is your responsibility, so let's stop blaming it on the natives.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Ecc. 4:9-10

Before... and After.

I have recently started as a Beachbody Coach. Beachbody is a fantastic company that helps people in getting fit and healthy. It is responsible for programs like Insanity and P90X. I've only been doing it for a little while and already there is one question that people ask me on a frequent basis. "Do you think I'm too fat to do this?" "Do you think I'm in shape enough to do this workout?" I think this question is based off of a lie that the enemy (the devil) tells us.

Think about this question for a moment. Basically what is being asked is "Do I have to be fit to get fit?" The lie the enemy tells us is that we have to be right to get right. That in order to be holy (set apart) we have to already be holy. He wants us to believe this in order to render us inactive. The idea that you have to already have it all together to start getting your crap together is ridiculous once we start to think about it. If we had a loved one with an artery blockage, we would want them to go have it taken care of. We would think them utterly ridiculous if they said to us let me just get this artery unclogged and then we can go to the hospital to have it taken care of. Wait...what? See how dumb that is. 

I recently sat with a woman who was told by a family member that she could not give her heart to the Lord because she was living a life of sin. Cause that lines up with Bible. But Jesus said "Go and sin no more." Not sin no more, and then come here. Romans 5:8 says that "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." While we were still drug addicts, lazy bums, terrible mothers He laid His life down for our sake. It's a trick!! You can not be a better person on your own, only through Him and with Him can we hope to be who we were called to be.

Do not let your short comings as a Christian, keep you from sharing the love of Jesus. Do not let your before, keep you from your after! Flex that faith muscle, burn bright! 

Get Over It

I have a degree in Visual Communications. It was hard earned, many a late night were spent in dark rooms and numerous outpourings of the heart and mind submitted to scathing critiques. One I remember above all the others. We were laying our photographs out and critiquing the work as a class. I laid my work, these images that had been labored in the mind and dark room, on the table so proud of what I'd accomplished. My professor looked at me and informed me that the images needed to be burned (burning and dodging are techniques in which more or less light is applied to the photo paper) I asked him for about how long he thought I should burn them. To which he responded "No I mean you should literally burn these, set them on fire." I couldn't believe it, I was crushed. I thought I had really come up with something cool. 

There were two paths I could take from here. I could redo the work or I could throw my hands in the air and say this isn't for me. I had seen it done several times. Students drop out of the course or fail a class cause they couldn't get over the criticism. They took a personal offense for their work, and couldn't get past it. 

Offense...maybe one of the most dangerous feelings we can have. Marriages burned to the ground, friendships disassembled, callings abandoned all out of a spirt of offense left unchecked. If we inspect our hearts its usually because we've made an idol out of a thing that we refuse to submit to God. Be it our identity, our money, whatever. 

I have zero proof or biblical support for this, but I really believe it was a spirit of offense that gave Satan a foothold in Judas' life. Maybe Jesus called him on the way he lusted after Mary Magdeline or the way he handled his money, I'm not sure, but I'd be willing to bet offense played a part. 

I choose that afternoon, with teeth clinched tight, to receive the critique and use it as fuel and a tool to be better. My work got better and, because I told my flesh to take a backseat, I got stronger and a little more humble. Only a little though, we all need something to work on. 

So get over it, get over yourself. Fight offense, battle it with humility and submission. It is a thief that will rob you blind if you let it. Don't let it. 

April Showers...Make Moms Crazy!!

If you are a Mom of active children you know the sinking feeling that is a rainy day. It's like suddenly you've been put on lockdown with a bunch of small, sticky inmates. Why do they ALWAYS seem to be sticky? 

We try and limit the boys T.V. time and give them as much time outside as possible. Obesity is a serious problem among children in the U.S. I think shortened recess periods and gym classes are to blame partially. The boys get an hour of recess time in the middle of our homeschool day, it helps them get out all their wiggles and keeps them healthy. But what do you do when the weather makes it impossible for them to get out? And God forbid there are a string of stormy days, that's a sure fire recipe for scurvy to set in! I have 3 ideas to help you get the wiggles out and help keep them fit at the same time! 

1.) Indoor Obstacle Course

This one is so much fun! This winter we had a few bitter cold days and the boys were begging to go out. It was so cold it was dangerous out there. So snow play was a no go. To help them burn through some energy I built an obstacle course through the house. We started with an army crawl under the coffee table, then hopping over circles, crawling under streamer and then climbing up on a small (stable) chair. You can make this as elaborate or as simple as you want. My boys are competitive so we also timed them, which burned more energy because they wanted to go faster. 

Obstacle Course 

2.) Shadow Dancing

Rainy days usually mean dark and stormy, so why not take advantage of the already low light! All you need for this is a large flashlight and a blank wall. Have them stand in front of the flashlight and make their shadow move. Put on some music, give them some ribbon or streamer and let them have at it. 

3.) Animal Charades

Call out or write down different animals and their actions. Mix up slow and fast movements, getting high, then getting low. Try and get creative to make it more fun or them and ensure a full range of motion. Some of my favorites are "wallow like a pig" (roll around on the floor), "stretch like a kitty"(use cat yoga pose here), and "jump like a cricket" (squat then leap) Yay for plyometrics, said nobody ever. 

Bad about getting in exercise? Do it with them! Be a prisoner to the rain, no more! 

Dying on Purpose

I have a deep appreciation and love for the men and women of our armed forces. My grandfather, one of my best friends, was in the Navy. My father was a staff sergeant in the United States Air Force and my both of my nephews serve. I enjoy war and military movies and one of the best I've seen is Act of Valor. It follows a group of Navy Seals on a series of missions to bring down a threat to National security. These men aren't just coworkers, they are a family. At the end of the movie a man waiting to get back to his pregnant wife, jumps on a grenade to save his men. It wasn't an accident, he with a clear mind and deep intention laid his body across an explosive device in an attempt to spare those he loved.

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for 

one's friend. John 15:13

It's so easy to forget. The image of the cross has become archaic to the world and wall decor to much of the body. We've seen it a hundred times and it becomes like the beautiful flowers on a drive to work, seen but not really. Imagine Jesus if you will standing between you and a crazed gunman. Picture Jesus laying is blameless body atop a grenade, but not just any grenade, one that had your name on it. He knew what He was doing that day, over 2000 years ago. He probably knew it more than He had ever known anything is His whole life of flesh and bone. Every ounce of blood that he bleed was on purpose...it was with purpose.

I do not believe in accidents, and almost nothing happens by chance. It is not by accident that the priests would sprinkle the lambs blood, on the veil in the temple, seven times and that day He bleed seven different times. It was no coincidence that they had whipped Him 39 times and scientist say there are 39 root causes for every disease. If the point of all of this was solely death to bring salvation, God could have organized a much quicker, less humiliating way for His Son to die. But nothing that happened that day was quick, nothing was by chance. He died for our salvation, but He suffered for our healing and rose again 3 days later for our freedom.

I submit to you tonight that Jesus was real flesh and real bone. That He willingly poured out His blood and endured humiliation not just to save you from Hell itself, but the Hell you live in.  No mountain of shame is to high for Him to climb to you. No pit of sin and depravity to low for Him to reach down and pull you out. No ocean of disbelief and doubt to wide for Him to find you. His love is more real and more vast than the waters of 50 seas and the sands of 100 desserts. If you had been the only one, He still would have jumped on that grenade for you.

Stop Hiding From The Camera

The baby was screaming, I rolled over picked him up out of the bassinet and then grabbed my cell phone off the charger. I squinted at the screen where did I put my glasses and at 7am there was already 3 text messages. As my eyes focused, I felt my stomach drop. A good friend of ours had passed away during the night. I text back something, that I'm sure sounded stupid at a lack of knowing what on earth to say. The grief and disbelief washed over me like a huge stormy wave. Such a beautiful soul, gone in the blink of an eye.

A week later we were at his Celebration of Life (to the uninitiated that's what we call a funeral at our church) And boy was it a celebration! I've never been so heartbroken and so encouraged, all at the same time, in all my days. The testimonies of how this young man, of just 26, changed so many lives was staggering. As the service proceeded the big screen was flooded with pictures and videos, and the final words spoken were by Wattage himself. (that's what I called him) It was a video of him preaching that had been recorded. I sobbed, and had never been more in awe of social media and technology in my whole life. What a powerful tool it can be.

Today, a couple months after the tragedy, his beautiful, graceful and strong girlfriend was saying that she was writing down all the memories so she wouldn't forget. And it got me thinking, would they have any pictures of me to share at my Celebration? Would my kids have pictures to reflect on if I was gone?  I'm always behind the camera. I hide and duck away when someone wants group shots and I rarely take a selfie. I highly discourage narcism. 

After the good Lord takes me home, I don't want them to have to remember what I looked like. Don't make your loved ones wish they had more to remember you by, just because you were bloaty or hair wasn't just so. Stop hiding from the camera, make memories!

At the Masquerade, when my hair was blonde. 

The Vacation You Can't Afford to Miss

Yesterday was glorious, as my 5 year old would say. We are trying to sell our house, so after church we had plans to work on a few things to spruce up the front. As I was doing the dishes after lunch my husband got a phone call from my Mother in Law saying they were at the beach and wanted to know if we would like to join them. Where we live the beach is about 35-45mins away. (If the backroads aren't clogged with savvy tourists.) He told her he would have to discuss it with me, and we'd let her know. We really want to sell this house and had a lot of things that needed to get done. But when I tell you we don't get out much around here, I mean we REALLY don't get out. My husband works a lot and weekends are usually spent getting things done around the house or I am working doing cakes and catering. So it only took me about 2.5 seconds to say "We're going!"

Some of the scenery on the backroads to the beach.

We didn't have a lot of gas in the car, we don't have a ton of money to be throwing around, but we do not run a business, we run a family.  What may not be logical, sometimes makes the most sense. Our children are 5, 4, and 3 months. They will not stay like this for very long. There are some things you just can't afford to pass up. Do not let a poverty mentality, keep you from making memories and sharing in adventures.

Now am I saying book a Disney Cruise, if you are in debt up to your eyeballs? Ummm....NO! But take opportunities when they arise.

You don't have to spend a ton of money, to spend time together. You would be amazed at the amount of free or cheap things that are probably happening right around you. Have you ever heard of geocaching? Sometimes it only takes a little gas and a sense of adventure to have a good time. If you have a Regal Cinemas near you they do $1 movie mornings during the summer. One of our best memories from last summer, was taking a day off and going to a $1 movie and having bagels for lunch and then a hike at our local State Park.

If you can afford to really do it up and take a grand adventure, do it!! I truly believe that travel is one of the things that isn't just an expenditure but an investment. The memories you create and culture you get to experience pays you back 10 fold.

So get creative, get to planning and go! Like they say in one of my favorite Pixar movies "Adventure is Out There!"